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Why most guys flirt backward
Standard advice says to compliment her, ask about her and agree with her. The result is a pleasant, forgettable interview. Tao of Badass argues for a simple change to flirting that bypasses her logical brain and speaks to her emotions instead. Here's the general idea.
Flirting techniques that work
Playful teasing
Gently rib her about something harmless: "You ordered that? Okay, we might not be compatible." The smile in your voice matters more than the words.
Push-pull
Mix approval with a playful step back: "You're fun. Probably trouble, though." It creates a small emotional swing, which is the essence of tension.
Statements over questions
"You look like you grew up somewhere small" invites her to play. "Where are you from?" invites a one-word answer.
Role-play and assumptions
"We'd be terrible travel partners. You'd want a plan, I'd want to wing it." Imagining the two of you together, playfully, plants a seed.
Body language
Flirting is half non-verbal: eye contact, a slow smile, the occasional mouth glance.
When she buys the drinks
Tao of Badass covers what to say when a woman asks you to buy her a drink. It's a common test. The playful idea: don't get defensive and don't comply automatically. Flip it with humor so she ends up investing instead.
Avoid these
- Heavy compliments in the first minutes
- Sexual comments before there's rapport
- Teasing about anything she's actually insecure about
- Continuing when she's clearly not enjoying it
Frequently asked questions
How do you flirt with a woman without being creepy?
Keep it light and playful, read her reactions, and back off if she's not engaging. Playful teasing and confident eye contact feel flirty. Persistent sexual comments and ignoring her signals feel creepy.
Is complimenting a woman flirting?
Heavy, early compliments usually read as putting her on a pedestal. Specific, offhand compliments about something she chose (her style, an opinion) work better, and playful teasing usually works best of all.