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The "big lie" most men believe
Magazines, ads and movies tell men they need more money, bigger muscles, a full head of hair or a better face. Those things aren't nothing, but they're overrated. Plenty of balding, short, broke or ordinary-looking men do very well with women, and plenty of rich, good-looking men are invisible. What separates them is signals: what your behavior tells her about your social value.
The three big levers
1. Pre-selection: other women want you
The single strongest signal. If a woman senses that other women already like you, she assumes there's a reason. Read the pre-selection guide →
2. Propinquity: closeness breeds attraction
Being physically around someone, often and comfortably, makes them like you more. This is one of the most reliable findings in social psychology. Read about the propinquity effect →
3. Attraction triggers: the small cues
Where your eyes go, which way your chest points, how you frame a statement. Small cues add up to tension or kill it. See the attraction triggers →
Her filter vs. your approach mechanism
Women have a strong filter mechanism. Most of the men who approach them are screened out quickly, usually for showing neediness or low confidence. Men have an approach mechanism, the urge that makes you kick yourself if you don't talk to her. Used carelessly, the second sets off the first. Learning to approach in a relaxed, low-pressure way is covered in how to approach women.
Where to go next
Once you understand the psychology, learn to show it physically in body language, then put it into practice in approaching women.
Considering a structured program? Read our full Tao of Badass review to see what it covers, who it suits and what it doesn’t do.
Guides in this section
Pre-Selection
Pre-selection is the attraction principle that women are drawn to men other women already value. The science (mate-choice copying), real-life signals, and how to use it without faking it.
GuidePropinquity Effect
The propinquity effect explained: why physical closeness and repeated contact create attraction, the Westgate study, the mere-exposure effect, and how to use it in dating.
GuideAttraction Triggers
Attraction triggers (sometimes called sexual triggers) are small cues in eye contact, body orientation and framing that build tension. What they are, how they work, and how to use them respectfully.